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[23 Sep 2008|05:17pm] |
1000 times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me wanna run till I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But,love remains the same
I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through 7 bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same
So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play
We - we could have had the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
Too much time too long defending
You and I are done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Everything will change
I, oh I,
I wish this could last forever
I, oh I,
as if this could last forever
Love remains the same
Love remains the same
Thank you Gavin Rossdale for this awesome song.
life is good <3
No one reads lj anymore but whatever. haha
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[14 Apr 2007|09:28am] |
I'm pretty sure I leave for Ireland today.
Hopefully this LJ will be a lot more interesting when I come back...
<3
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[03 Apr 2007|03:30pm] |
I have not updated this thing in forever. i really sometimes wonder why i have a livejournal, but whatever.
lately things have been going ok. i got accepted to all the schools i applied to, and i think URI is the one for me. hopefully ill have made the right decision i suppose i wont know for a few months or so.
i'm looking forward to so many things right now:
IRELAND
C a b o r e t (senior altos do it better especially when a select few are wearing kimonos)
Graduation
the senior party which needs to happen (people must buy tickets)
its also amazing because i'm so scared of whats going to happen in the future. college is suck a big step. of course i want to get OUT of MOUNT, but i do not want to leave any of my friends. they are the people ive known for the past 4-6 years that have kept me going. i guess its just wierd to think that there are people outside the world of Mount.
jake and i have been together for over a year now, and things are great. He makes me so happy. hehe.
OH!
VOTE MARIANNE LIZOTTE FOR THE SENIOR SUPERLATIVE "MOST LIKELY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD"
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[22 Jan 2007|03:03pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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Winterball was...yeah...
And to that someone that lied about transportation arrangements for afterwards, everyone knows that you did indeed lie. And that that you did was selfish, and just not right.
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| It's been a while... |
[17 Dec 2006|11:54pm] |
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mood |
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Happy and content. |
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music |
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Hellogoodbye |
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Today was Ten Months for Jake and I.
I never thought I could be this happy with someone,
but I am.
now theres no place else i can be but here in your arms
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[18 Sep 2006|11:44pm] |
Hello Livejournal, long time no talk. Yeah. Bite me.
I hate school.
Jake<3
Yeah. That's me and my best friend. Thanks to Darryl!!!
This year's policy:
If people are going to miserable, let them.
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[18 May 2006|07:37pm] |
Comment and...
1. I'll respond with something random about you
2. I'll challenge you to try something
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you
4. I'll tell you something I like about you
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours.
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[28 Apr 2006|11:21pm] |
My brother David is probably leaving Kirkbrae Country Club right now, after his first formal dance. What he experienced tonight is something that I experienced two years ago, and this makes me feel very old. Not even in a wise way, just weary. In ninth grade, things just seemed so simple and pressure free.
Today I worked from 5-9, but did over $800 in sales. It was insanely busy, but most people were nice so it wasnt too bad.
Softball is going well. I enjoy being captain and being 7-1.
I hate school with every inch of being i have to offer. Which isnt much, but still. It's a lot of hate.
Dan Koback is running against me for Vice-President this year. i really want to win, because i know i could do a good job planning prom and what not. Hopefully the class of 2007 sees it the same way.
I miss Jake.
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[05 Apr 2006|08:50pm] |
Well it's still snowing in April, and I'm still missing Jake, and I'm still looking foward to Ted Fest way too much then I should be. I'm still on the junior varsity softball team, I'm stil Darryl's worst, but loved student, I'm still going to be grounded for the rest of my life. I'm still driving that God damn mini van because I still can't seem to save money. I'm still angry and irritated at pretty much everyone and everything, especially someone that's supposed to be my friend and realizes now that I havent been pleased with him/her since February. But whatever, right? I'll I seem to use my LJ for are rants, but I dont really care. I miss having my best friend around at Mount, but i suppose everything has to happen for a reason and whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger. ha.
Well I'm looking foward to summer, hopefully that will equal freedom. My failing math third quarter will result in more severe and extensive grounding, including my liscence being taken away. yeap.
i hope my sucky life doesnt bring anyone else down. lol. ha.
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[11 Mar 2006|11:04pm] |
I can't remember the last time I was so dissapointed.
C-Loud will not go down without a fight, rest assure.
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| Why do i do these things? |
[25 Feb 2006|11:48pm] |
[[name ]] Marianne Lizotte
[[nicknames ?]] A select few call me “M.A.”
[[ birthday? ]] July 14th, 1989
[[ astrological sign? ]] - Cancer
[[ sexual preference? ]] Straight
[[ status ?]] Very taken.
[[ current hair color? ]] A darkbrown reddish fade color?
[[ eye color ]] – Green.
[[ parents still together? ]] yeap.
[[ siblings? ]] Two younger brothers. Fucker and Fuckup.
[[ pets? ]] One dog.
[[ in school/graduated? ]] I am currently a member of Mount Saint Shitbuckt, or M(ore)S(hit)C(oming).
[[ rent, lease, or own your home? ]] I live at home. With my parents. Until I move out.
[[ what do you do for work? ]] – I sell shoes.
[[ how much do you make? ]] decent I guess.
[[ what do you drive? ]] ah yes well.
preferences
[[ black and white/color? ]] Black.
[[ dogs/cats? ]] Dogs.
[[ roses/daisies? ]] – Roses. Red roses.
[[ hair: short/long? ]] Long. Or an afro.
[[ boots/shoes ]] - shoes
[[ food: mexican/italian ]] – I’ll eat whichever.
[[ dark/light ]] – Dark.
[[ day/nite? ]] Night.
[[ city/country? ]] Anywhere away from here.
do you...
[[ color your hair? ]] yes.
[[ have tattoos? ]] – the day I turn 18.
[[ have piercings? ]] Just my ears, but when I turn eighteen id like my eyebrow done.
have you...
[[ stolen anything? ]] yes.
[[ smoked? ]] - yes
[[ pot? ]] - yes
[[ crack? ]] no, not yet. Haha.
[[ considered a life of crime? ]] if I knew I could get away with it, perhaps.
[[ maybe a pimp? ]] ha. No.
[[ been married? ]] im 16
[[ been divorced? ]] ^
[[ are you psycho? ]] yes
[[ split personalities? ] no
[[ schizophrenic? ]] no.
[[ obsessive? ]] depends no what it is.
[[ panic? ]] yes.
[[ depressed? ]] the majority of the time, yes.
[[ suicidal? ]] ah well.
[[ pedophile?]] Um. No.
[[ obsessed with hate? ]] well. Perhaps.
[[ mutilate animals? ]] If you count eating them, then yes, I do mutuilate animals.
[[ idolize infamous criminals? ]] not idolize necesarrily…
have you ever...
[[ been in love ?]] no
[[ kept a secret from everyone? ]] yeah.
[[ had an imaginary friend? ] no.
[[ called or seen a psychic ?]] No.
[[ ever cried at a chick flick ? ]] Ok. Lets all be honest. Who didn’t cry when they saw “A Walk to Remember” ?
[[ had a crush on a teacher ? ]] not really. I guess mr hopkins is cute.
[[ found a cartoon character attractive ? ]] eh.
[[ ever at anytime owned a New Kids on the block tape ]] no
[[ watched Punky Brewster ? ]] no
[[ prank called someone ]] - yes.
[[ eaten a whole box of cookies and thought you were fat after? ]] sure
[[ been on stage ?]] yes.
[[ gotten in a car accident? ]] ive been in the car while it occurred.
do you...
[[ wear eye shadow ]] – yes.
[[ have a dog ]] - yes
[[ have any regrets ]] – yes.
[[ have a crush? ]] hehe.
[[ do you have a best friend? ]] Melissa Moretti!!!!!!!!!
[[ who do you go to for advice ]] Melissa Moretti!!!!!!!!! FOR EVERYTHING. And then I seek second opinions from others.
[[ who knows all your secrets? ]] hmmm, I guess no one would know everything, but if I had to say definatley Melissa.
[[ who do you cry with? ]] Me, myself, and Melissa.
do you believe in...
[[ god/devil ]] - yeah
[[ yourself ]] uhhh no.
[[ your friends? ]] yeah.
[[ aliens? ]] yes
[[ love? ]] only the true kind.
[[ the closet monster ?]] no
[[ one person for everyone? ]] yes
what are you...
[[ doing? ]] sitting on my ass.
[[ wearing ?]] sweatshirt and jammie pants.
[[ listening to ?]]Violet Femmes
[[ thinking? ]] About how much I miss Jake
[[ smelling? ]] nothing.
[[ drinking ]] - water
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[17 Feb 2006|09:36pm] |
You know what? I don’t fucking give a shit if my parents love me or care about me. I just want them to leave me the fuck alone. This si the relationship I want with my parents:
Marianne: I’m going out.
Parents: Ok.
I really don’t need their “guidance” or “attention” anymore. I have a job, so therefore I have money. I have friends that drive, so I don’t need rides from them anymore. I just want them to fuck off. I do not want their opinion on anything. I do not want them on my ass about my grades, colleges, etc. They don’t know shit about any of that, so therefore forfeit their rights to share their opinions with me.
Right now its 9:40 on a Friday night. I just got out of work. That’s right. I am a responsible teenager who is holding down a job, and yet, I cant go out tonight. Why you may ask? Because my parents want me home. Why you ask? NO FUCKING REASON.
yeap. fuck it.
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[12 Feb 2006|06:55pm] |
Well, things have finally been looking up a little bit for me lately.
School is going ok, I'm probably failing math, but whatever, right?
Oh, and I've met someone that truly cares for me. He treats me better then I could have ever hoped for, and I enjoy his company more and more each time I'm with him. He proves that chivalry is not dead. I only wish that I could think of something special to do for him for the upcoming Valentine's Day.
<3
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[01 Jan 2006|07:03pm] |
Hopefully the rest of 2006 will be able to compare to that special New Year's Eve kiss I recieved.
<3
<3
<3 <3
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[28 Dec 2005|03:47pm] |
I think I met a boy.
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
This would be me giggling like a little girl.
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| dont read this if youre in a good mood, it will certianly ruin it. |
[25 Dec 2005|11:06pm] |
Here's my Christmas poem!
We wait all year for this special time to come around
And yet all i want to do is beat my family to the ground
We are supposed to be celebrating jesus being born
And all I receive from relatives are odd looks and scorn
They ask me “Why is your hair that shade of red?”
Or “why do your makeup and clothes make you look dead?”
Well shove it up your ass family, I don’t give a damn
Fuck all of you and your “we are a family” sham
You would think that I would be able to turn to my friends
But now they are up in Norfolk, where the party never ends
So fuck Christmas, and fuck all of you
And I’m looking forward to a new shitty year too!
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[20 Dec 2005|08:51pm] |
I honestly think I have a serious problem
I think I have some sort of anxiety; whenever I have work to do I can’t bring myself to do it. This is not laziness. I know what that is. Laziness is indolence. And being lethargic. That is not my problem. My problem, is that I start thinking about all the stuff I have to do. For example, tonight this is what I had to accomplish:
1. History notes and essay, even though they are due on Thursday and Friday. I have to do them tonight, or at least most of them, because I am working from 5-10 on both Wednesday and Thursday, leaving me very little time to accomplish either.
2. The last two weeks of liturgy homework I have not done yet. And thinking about the pending interview I have with nelson makes me want to gag.
3. I have to take an anatomy test tomorrow. Fuck.
4. Math. All of it. The last week. I don’t understand anything, even though I went for extra help for about an hour today with Darryl.
Normally, like, last year or so, I could sit down and do all of this work. No problem. It would take me a couple of hours. Now, I am so stressed I don’t even know where to begin. I have been feeling like this ever since the start of junior year, so I am pretty sure this isn’t some sort of phase I’m going through. When I think about the amount of work I have to do, I start breathing heavily and cant concentrate. I tell myself that I will find a way to do the work, but in the back of my mind I know that isn’t going to happen. I know I am just not going to do it, and ill just “deal” with the consequences. But I don’t feel that I fully comprehend the consequences. The consequences of my actions are as follows:
1. choir A+
2. English B+
3. AP History C
4. Liturgy B? B+? I honestly don’t know but its not good. I wouldn’t be surprised if I had a C
5. Anatomy C
6. PreCal C
Those grades, are absolutely horrible. Obviously, they could be worst. Like all Cs. Or Ds or Fs. But compared to my usual grades of mostly As and Bs, this is awful. Awful Awful.
This anxiety does not just concern the area of academics, but in my social life. There’s tons of stuff going on in my life that makes me very sad or depressed or both or stresses me out in some way or shape of form.
I have no date to Winter Ball. Someone ruined my plan with that, but whatever. Karma, bitch, what goes around comes around. I don’t have the confidence to go stag. So don’t bother suggesting that.
I have like, no friends. I’m very difficult to get along with, and I’m always fighting with someone or doing something. The people i were once close with are slowly and willingly drifting away with me, and this pain is more then i can take. so i become numb.
I have no motivation for anything. Getting up in the morning, even something as normal as showering, requires me to build up motivation. This cannot be healthy.
I have no idea how to even talk to my parents about this.
I don’t know what to make of school. The bottom line is, my grades are in deed good enough to get into a decent college, that with my SATs and extra curricular. I should be fine. Then theres the pressure of what I want to do with the rest of my life, and I have no idea. I cant take it anymore.
All I’ve wanted to do for the past couple of months is cry. Cry. Cry. And cry. I think I’ll go do that.
All i want to do is fade.
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[09 Dec 2005|08:29pm] |
I wasn’t going to do this, because I know very few people that listen to the same music I do. But then I figured, why the hell not?
1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. First lyric of first ten songs that come up.
3. I gave you a break by only doing 10
Here it goes…
1. Do you think I’m faking when I’m lying next to you?
2. Ha Ha 1. .2. .3 and I come with the wicked style
and you know that I'm from the wicked crew, you act like you knew
3. I'm not doing great I feel like I'm dead Not thinking straight Inside my body, troubled, full of hate
I had to let it out before it's too late
4. Someday, when my life has passed me by, I’ll lay around and wonder why you were always there for me
5. I bleach the sky every night , loaded on wrong and further from right
6. Come on baby leave some chains behind, she was a bitch but I don’t care
7. Wanna be there when you call, wanna catch you when you fall
8. If the sun refused to shine, I’d still be loving you…
9. It’s been a while since I could hold my head up high
10. She should have stayed away from friends
i wont blame anyone for not knowing this.
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[06 Dec 2005|03:07pm] |
The following is open to anyone and everyone that reads my journal.
What is the fondest memory we share? Why?
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[22 Nov 2005|07:46pm] |
I am going to bitch. If you don’t want to hear it, don’t care, whatever. I was just giving you a fair warning. Who ever ‘you’ is. I don’t even know who reads my journal.
I feel like one of those people who are so miserable that when they enter a room, the flicker in everyone’s eyes dies immediately. I feel that I should not be around people; that I should sit in a room until someone gives me some pills to make me feel better.
Not to rain on everyone’s parade, or to burn their turkey, but I have a feeling that this Thanksgiving is going to suck. At least for me anyway. My dad is in Maine, for the umpteenth year in a row. I’m really glad he’s thankful for his family. ::suffocates in sarcasm:: after dinner, my two brothers are going up to Maine with my grandfather, and at some point that night I’m being shipped off to a friend’s house because my mom and grandmother leave for a different part of Maine in the morning. Lovely Thanksgiving vacation to look forward to.
I just finished reading How to Connect with Your Teenager, a book I found lying around my house this afternoon. I wonder if my mom views me as a project, or some sort of experiment. If she tries to “connect” with me through a method in that book, I’ll just be the “narcissistic teenager” and tell her she doesn’t understand. Most phychologists are jackasses. I want to be a criminal psychologist. You know that Asian guy on SVU? Yeah. That’s Me.
School is going absolutely horrible. Absolutely horrible. And im not one of those jackasses that says “omg my grades are horrible and im totally like failing everything…like yeah….” And it turns out they have a B in one class and the rest are B+s or As. That does NOT CONSTITUE AT “LIKE TOTALLY FAILING EVERYHING.”Lets go through Marianne’s grades, shall we?
Choir: A plus. Duh.
Brit lit: Well seeing how Doc is crazy…id say C.
AP History: C. I had a B last quarter.
Litrugy: Probably a B, which is horrible for LITURGY. I don’t do my hw, or give a shit about the Gospels.
Anatomy: I don’t think ive passed a single quiz all quarter. Id say a D, if im lucky.
Math: oh who gives a fuck. Its darryl.
Ill get into URI. Then waste my life away.
I really cant wait to drag that line.
To top it all off, my dad took his guitar to Maine, which is the one I play on. His electric guitar, amp, and other acoustic/electric? No where to be found. I think they are at my uncles house. So now I cant even play guitar.
I fucked up my audition with Cooney. No solos at Lessons in Carols this year for Marianne.
I also have come to the conclusion that I’m really not that good at anything. I am mediocre at some things. I am tired of being OK at everything, but I can’t help it. I am an OK singer. I am an OK softball player. I get OK grades. I can’t draw. I can’t write. I can’t do anything that I wish I could do well, no matter how hard I try.
SICK LIFE.
Shut up. I never complain. I needed this rant.
Do not leave me pity comments.
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